My name is Dee Na and I am nineteen years old. My parents were farmers. I have seven brothers and sisters, six boys and one girl. My father was killed in the field by Burman soldiers on August 1, 1988, Saturday in the morning at 8:15 AM. At that time I was five years old. My eldest brother was fifteen and my sister was two months old. As my father was no longer with us my mother had to take care of me and my brothers and sister. It was very hard indeed for our family.

Before my father was killed he raised four big pigs and other animals. My father had stored rice in the rice barn for one year and also cooking oil, fish paste, sugar candy and other essential commodities for one whole year. When the Burman soldiers entered the village, they stole animals belonging to the villagers, burnt down some houses and some rice barns. Villagers had a very hard time for their daily food and they had to live on the ground because their houses were burnt down. Not only my house and rice barn were burnt down, all pigs, goats, chickens and ducks were slaughtered and eaten by the Burman soldiers.

A few months later the soldiers forced the villagers to become porters to carry their supplies, ammunition, and to build roads until nighttime. They did not even give their surplus and remnant food to the villagers and they did not let them go home either. The villagers did not have time to work for themselves, only carry loads for the soldiers. They could not take care of their families. My two elder brothers could no longer go to school because the soldiers forced them to carry their loads and so they had to quit school.

When I was in primary school bad Burman soldiers shot dead two teachers and many students and nobody dared to open the school. Not long after that the school was burnt down by the soldiers. The villagers ran away to the mountains and hid there for some weeks before they dared to come home. The Burmans saw two elderly women fishing with their nets and looking for vegetables. They caught the women, raped them, and wrapped the women’s heads with waterproof and soaked them in the river for a day and a night. After that they shot them dead. Burman soldiers intensified making so much trouble that we no longer dared to stay in the village and ran away to Ka Htee Hta refugee camp.

When I was living in my village I had never seen big and high mountains like this. When I arrived at Ka Htee Hta there were all mountains and canyons and cliffs, not a piece of flat land could be seen. Here the place was infested with malaria. Weather was very hot and very cold. We newly arrived had no food and even vegetables were hard to find. My two elder brothers and my mom contracted malaria (PF) and my next older brother contracted malaria germs that entered his brain and no body was able to help. Our family had to face diseases and difficulties and this was the hardest one. My mom worked so hard so that we could go to school. She went to the mountains and collected vegetables and sold them to get money for our school. At night she did not sleep much but weaved Karen clothes and gowns and sold them for our food. My mom had to endure this hardship so much. When they opened boarding school for refugee children, my mom sent me and my brothers, together with my cousins. I stayed in boarding school for only two months and then ran away. In two months I ate rice that was not well cooked and with shrimp paste only. I ate meals with chicken curry only three times. My brothers and cousins were living like this as well.

When I was in fourth grade, I did not attend Ka Htee Hta school any more. I changed my school and went to Htee Moo Hta school because it was cheaper. It took me one hour to go to school and I had to walk every day. After four months I was so sick that I almost died of illness. Within a few months Khoperbaw (yellow turban DKBA) emerged and the school was closed. When the battle raged people ran to the mountains. I lived there for a while and some of my friends went to Mission School at Mae La refugee camp. I wanted to go there so much but there was no one to support me. I prayed and prayed relentlessly until finally I was able to come to mission school boarding. I was so happy. Nevertheless the learning was hard. When they had the monthly test I always failed because the standard of school that I attended before was low and easy. A teacher who pitied me asked me to take tutorial but did not ask for tuition fees. By the end of the year I passed the examination well. When I was in eighth grade my friends were taking piano lessons and Thai language class and I wanted to learn so much but I did not have any money. So whenever my mom and relatives sent me a little extra money I did not buy anything to eat but saved it and gave the money to the teacher for piano lessons. I learned to play the piano and had almost completed my lessons when I no longer had any money. I had to stop taking lessons. When I was in tenth grade my uncle helped me with the fees and I had the opportunity to continue my piano lessons again.

In 2001 I came to IDP Brigade 1 boarding school. I learned at FSP school. When my friends were attending computer class I wanted to learn so badly but I was not able to pay the fees. Nevertheless through godsend (and Grandma) I was able to attend computer and piano lessons again. I want to pursue further education so much but I do not have anybody to support me.